Heinies

After getting upset with the first three of our eight children for not getting potty trained according to my schedule, I decided that I needed to start savoring that special experience of the diaper change. I came up with a number of jingles that I would sing or recite during the event, but this poem became the standard for the last two children.

This heinie is cute.
It’s a vertical smile.
The finest two cheeks
For many a mile.

There’s nothing on earth
That comes to my mind
So tempting to pat
As a baby’s behind.

No puppy or kitten
No, none anywhere
So soft and so sweet
As this small derriere.

Oh sure, it gets dirty.
Sometimes, it does stink.
But cleaning it’s not
Such a bad job, I think.

When you love a small child
By cleaning their crack,
Such love surely know
They will give you right back.

Now I’ve seen lots of heinies
In my day as pops.
But I’m here to tell ya
This bottom is tops!